Remember The Beginning Of Your Relationship When You Would Drop Everything For Time With Each Other?
You probably did drop everything for a while— friends may have called you out for ditching them as your dog rarely got walked and your houseplants died. Nothing beats the excitement of a new relationship. In a healthy, mature relationship, your partner is still your first priority, but other things compete more successfully for your time than they used to. This is especially true if “parenting” is on your list of responsibilities. Recent studies have shown you aren’t the only one having less sex than you used to. If you find the days clocking by with little time for canoodling it doesn’t mean the thrill is gone. It just means you have to approach your sex life like the other goals in your life: failing to plan is planning to fail. If your physical relationship is a priority—and it should be—then you need to treat it like one. Add it to your calendar!
Scheduling Sex May Not Seem Sexy. But Let’s Consider How It Can Spice Things Up.
First Of All Like Any Holiday, Vacation Or Great Party, Much Of The Fun Is In The Anticipation.
When you see an upcoming event on the calendar you are more likely to think about it. This may not be as game-changing for men (what was that about every seven seconds? or at least several times a day?) but for women who tend to be mental multi-taskers, being reminded is a really good thing. Planning it means you can contemplate the where, how and whatnot, which means you will likely have a smile on your face the days and hours prior and be ready to go when the appointment arrives.
Scheduled Sex Is 100% Better Than No Sex.
There’s a general conception that the best sex is spontaneous— it happens when the mood strikes and that’s what makes it good. But between school pickups and soccer practice drop-offs, work dinners and spin classes, grocery shopping and dish-washing, there is little room for the mood to strike. If you’re waiting for the perfect scenario, you’ll likely be waiting a very long time. So long that you might even forget how awesome sex can be. When you make time for it, even if it’s purely fast and functional (as in you both get what you need), you’ll remember why you liked it so much in the first place.
It Takes The Pressure Off.
There can be a lot of expectations around sex. Especially when you’re not having it. And the longer you go without having it, the more pressure there is, not only for it to happen but also for it to be perfect when it does. Knowing it’s going to happen on a particular day takes the guesswork out of every other day, and puts you and your partner on the same sex page, so to speak. This is especially true if one of you is a high-desire partner and the other not so much. Calendaring it together makes certain those basic needs are being met with whatever frequency you agree to, and that the other nights are guilt-free.
It Strengthens Your Bond
Whether it’s s hour in bed after a date night, or 15 minutes on the couch before you have to pick your youngest up from daycare, having sex creates an undeniable connection. It’s been said that women have sex to feel love and intimacy while men are intimate to have sex. Though the order and dominance of these things may be different, making sex happen works for everyone! Sex and intimacy reminds you that you’re a couple, and gives you the chance to enjoy one of the compelling reasons why.
It Fosters Communication.When you’ve only got 15 or 20 minutes to get it on, you get very good at articulating exactly what you need. And that doesn’t mean it’s going to be the same routine every time, it just means that you each get better at voicing what’s working, while listening and responding to your partner’s desires as well. That’s pretty hot, in and of itself, right? Nothing spurs communication like urgency. (INSERT PHOTO)
You Can Still Have Leisurely, Emotional Sex Too.
You may decide to put some quickies on the calendar, but they don’t have to cancel out the more luxurious, foreplay-heavy, candles-and-Marvin Gaye-style sex. It just means you’re committed to keeping your connection strong even when time is short when you do find time for the romantic variety, the quickies you’ve been having will make the sensual, sensitive, prolonged kind even better.
The More You Have The More You Crave
Just like any other endorphin-releasing activity, the more you have sex, the more sex you want to have. Scheduling prevents long dry-spells and keeps you in the groove. You may even find your spontaneity is increasing along with your scheduling.
Are You Convinced? You Probably Won’t Be Until You Try It For Yourself.
Here Is How You Can Make Scheduling Sex Work For You.
- Suggest It To Your Partner. You might catch them in the middle of a mundane task and ask, “hey, when should we have sex this week?” Or maybe you like to use code words as in, “when should we make time for business time?” That sort of offer is bound to get a positive reaction and then you can have an open and honest conversation about how often you want to do it. Experts say once a week is a great target for increasing your happiness, according to Time Magazine. Talk about what days and times might work best, and what your expectations are (the ultimate goal is for both of you to be satisfied!). It might be a tad awkward. But it will also be sexy, and fun, and a little flirty too.Don’t take yourselves too seriously.
- If You Want To Actually Put It On Your Calendar, that might be helpful, but just agreeing on a day is enough to look forward to. You might enjoy scheduling a reminder or sending a “don’t forget” text full of innuendo.
- When The Time Comes, Think About How To Make The Most Of It and be sure to have some Coconu personal lubricant on hand to make it as easy and satisfying as possible. Click here to order today.
- Stick To It. You might not always make your scheduled sex happen, but it’s worth making it a priority.
- Enjoy The Domino Effect. The benefits of having regular sex will spill over into every other aspect of your relationship, in the best ways possible.