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What Is Pillow Talk? How It Wets Your Sexual Appetite (Examples, Tips)

Ever experienced an intimate conversation while cuddling up with your partner?

These cozy conversations, called pillow talk, can increase bonding and work wonders for any committed relationship.

Pillow Talk: C'est Quoi?

Pillow talk entails a relaxed, intimate conversation when you’re in bed with your lover.

This casual, personal banter usually happens post-sexual activity.

But you can easily have pillow talk without engaging in any bedroom shenanigans! For instance, you could be cuddled up with your lover in bed, talking about your romantic life.

The best part?
It’s an in-depth, stress-free intimate conversation — all while cozying up with your partner!

Chances are, you’ll be less anxious and more inclined to speak freely and have a deeper conversation with each other.

A couple tangled up in bed
Fun fact: The word ‘pillow’ has been connected to physical intimacy for decades, dating back to the 1910s!

 Read More: Let’s talk about sex, baby, with 40 Incredible Sexual Conversation Starters.

What Topics Should You Talk About?

If you’re uncertain about your communication skills, here are a few topics for your next pillow talk sesh:
  • Desires, dreams, and other things you want to try as a couple
  • What you love about each other
  • Specific fears that may need reassurance from the other person
  • Relationship milestones
  • Positive qualities to help your S.O. feel like a million bucks
Remember, pillow talk is a two-way street.

So ensure you engage with each other! And don’t stress over the small stuff — just speak with abandon.

Want more smart tips for an engaging, intimate talk?
Try adding a couple of these tools to up the heat:
  • Carve out your own corner of paradise by putting your phones out of sight.
  • Always try to be more touchy-feely with each other. It encourages openness, and you feel emotionally secure.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll head into round 2 of a little fun! If you do, feel free to reach for your handy bottle of Coconu Personal Lubricant for extra slip ‘n’ slide!

Read More: Discussing physical intimacy doesn’t have to be awks. We’ve got 8 Non-Awkward Tips to Talk About Lack of Intimacy with your S.O.

What Topics Should You Avoid?

Always lead any intimate talk from a place of love.

With that in mind, here are some topics that should not make it into your pillow talk:
  • Hectic, stressful, or bad work days
  • General complaints
  • Arguments
  • Ex-partners or lovers
  • Major life decisions
  • Politics
  • Social media
  • Family, friends, or kids

Now we definitely don’t want you to not talk about these things.

Schedule a different time (like during dinner) to discuss each other’s work days or hash out whatever is on your mind.

Messy bedsheets

Pillow Talk vs Dirty Talk

The pillow talk meaning vs talking dirty can be a little confusing.

So, let’s clear the air:
  • Pillow talk is about tapping into each other’s vulnerabilities and ensuring a safe space for emotional intimacy. On the other hand, talking dirty is a form of foreplay that can lead to an intense sexual experience if you and your partner find it arousing.
  • You usually engage in pillow talk after sex. But dirty talk can happen before or during sexual activity.
  • During pillow talk, the tone is loving and understanding. But dirty talk can be exciting, explicit, and sexually charged!

How To Start Pillow Talking

Here’s how you can start basking in that wonderful sexual afterglow:

  • Plan ahead: While we love spontaneous pillow talk moments, many couples may need some structure to start on the right note. So, plan for about 10 minutes of conversation with premeditated topics.
  • Re-look at when you first started dating: Think back to what you were like, what fueled you, and what you wanted as a couple. Identify those thoughts and emotions and talk about them.
  • Incorporate little actions into the conversation: Gaze into each other’s eyes, laugh, hug, cuddle, and reassure each other. Fostering these tiny aspects of intimacy, especially early on in a relationship, is great for the long-term and enhances relationship satisfaction.
Read More: Find out every little thing you need to know about using Hemp Oil As A Personal Lube.

Pillow Talk Your Way To An Amazing Relationship

You probably already have an inkling of some of the benefits of a relaxed, intimate conversation. Here’s a closer look:

1. Strengthen Your Relationship

A study by Amanda Denes, Ph.D., on self-disclosure in relationships showed interesting results.

People were more likely to share positive feelings during post-sex pillow talk sessions only if there were in satisfying relationships.

And after pillow talk, individuals experienced increased trust, satisfaction, and emotional closeness with their lover. She also found that couples who reach orgasm were more likely to engage in a post-sex chat.

2. Boost Bedroom Antics

Aside from doing wonders for your emotional intimacy, regular pillow talk can lead to an overall boost in your sex life.

When you’re lying down, talking, caressing, and cuddling, you release a hormone called oxytocin (the love or bonding hormone.)

It helps a couple feel closer and more connected, creating a feeling of love. This, in turn, can increase the quality of sexy time in the long run.

3. Navigate Relationship Challenges

Trust is an essential factor in any relationship, and a part of Amanda Denes’ research included exploring how pillow talk helped when certain relationship rules were broken.

When a relationship rule is broken (maybe you did or said something mean when you were angry), a loss of trust is natural.

So, to get over an obstacle like this, you can use pillow talk as a solution.

Amanda Denes found that after a month of pillow talking, a couple experienced way better commitment and satisfaction.

Read More: Love anal play? Find out if Coconut Oil Works As Anal Lube.

Pillow Talk in Pop Culture

Pillow talk has been a strong part of pop culture.

Let’s take a look at how pillow talk has been portrayed:

1. The 1959 ‘Pillow Talk’ Film

This screwball comedy, starring Doris Day and Rock Hudson, follows the funny courtship of the duo, their marriage, sex and ultimately, pillow talk.

2. Zayn Malik’s ‘Pillow Talk’ Song

Zayn Malik, a former One Direction singer, released his debut solo single called Pillow Talk in 2016.

The hit sailed to #1 on the Billboard charts, and the music video included his then-girlfriend, supermodel Gigi Hadid.

3. Pillow Talk and Spying a la James Bond

On the big screen, pillow talk has also taken a more sinful (if you will) approach.

Individuals take advantage of post-sex vulnerabilities to learn top secret information. You can see this in popular espionage movies, particularly James Bond plots.

4. Limited Edition ‘Complimentary’ Pillow by Days Inn

In June 2022, iconic hotel brand Days Inn by Wyndham launched a limited edition pillow that compliments guests by pushing a button.

Comedy actor Patrick Warburton voices this unique Days Inn Complimentary Pillow.

Fun fact: Patrick Warburton is best known for playing iconic characters like Buzz Lightyear (Buzz Lightyear of Star Command) and Joe Swanson (Family Guy).

This witty and unique Day Inn pillow is an amazing way to make any guest smile.

Who wouldn’t want a pillow that compliments you whenever you need a little sunshine, right?

A couple cuddling in bed

Ready To Bask In That Sexual Afterglow?

Now that you know exactly how to pillow talk your way to emotional and physical intimacy, all that’s left is to do it on the regular.

The more you keep at it, the easier it will become — promise! Just set aside some time with your sexual partner and commit to having an engaging, intimate talk.

And, if things become steamy, place a bottle of Coconu’s Personal Lubricant on your bedside table for easy access!