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Sexual Conversation Starters: 40 Ways to Get In the Mood

Craving to exchange fantasies with your lover but don’t know how?

Whether you’re a long-term married couple or on a date night with your new lover, discussing sexual desires with your partner can be uncomfortable.

Where do you start?
And how do you keep the conversation flowing naturally?

Take a hint from our curated list of sexual conversation starters to initiate some light-hearted sex talk. Also, check out the three no-nonsense tips to take your pillow talk from no-go to naughty

40 Exciting Sexual Conversation Starters To Try Today

When it comes to mind-blowing sex, communication is the key. Being open and honest about what you desire in bed and learning what your partner wants is essential for any healthy relationship.

Here’s our list of 40 fun, flirty, and dirty questions to spice up your sex life:

Start With Some Get-to-Know-your-Lover Questions 

Initiate foreplay with these simple and amusing topics.

  1. What is the one sexual fantasy or secret desire you’ve always wanted to play out?
  2. Have you ever achieved sexual satisfaction with a sex toy?
  3. Should we try an erotic massage?
  4. Have you read the Kama Sutra? 
  5. Any favorite positions from that book?
  6. Does the thought of being tied up or tying me up turn you on?
  7. I would love to explore our sexual kinks together. Would you like to share anything?
  8. Has oral sex ever pushed you towards the big O?
  9. Does talking dirty turn you on?
  10. Sex outside of the bedroom: How high would you rate it on your sexual fantasy list?

a couple kissing

Play a Round of ‘Would You Rather’

Play this fun and frivolous under-the-sheets game to improve your emotional intimacy.

Would you rather:

  1. Have morning sex or anytime sex?
  2. Have an hour-long session or a quickie?
  3. Indulge in dirty talk or express with our bodies?
  4. Take control or be submissive?
  5. Have a one-night stand or a longer-term sexual partner?
  6. Have rough or romantic sex?
  7. Want sexy lingerie or sex toys as a gift?
  8. Be with an experienced partner or someone who’s a novice?
  9. Give or receive oral sex?
  10. Use a water-based lube or an oil-based lube?

Talk About Your Likes and Dislikes

Get down to the basics with these specific questions on sexual preferences.
  1. Is there a way I can touch you that would turn you on?
  2. Dirty talk in person or sending sexts. What do you like more? 
  3. What’s a sexual position you find hot?
  4. What style of clothes would be super erotic?
  5. What’s your wildest date night sex story?
  6. Does anal play give you sexual satisfaction?
  7. Is there a song that gets you in the mood?
  8. What’s the one thing that turns you off?
  9. Where do you most like to be kissed?
  10. Do you like when I initiate sex?

Do Some Serious Soul Searching

Strengthen your sexual bond with these thought-provoking questions.

  1. For me, sex is a way of connecting on a deeper level. What do you think?
  2. What do you need from me when we have sex?
  3. How do intimate conversations make you feel?
  4. Safe sex is a priority for me. How can we be more careful?
  5. What are your thoughts on masturbation?
  6. Is there anything like an ideal sexual partner?
  7. I’m open to trying new things in the bedroom. Do you have something in mind?
  8. How do you think we can improve our sexual intimacy?
  9. Do you have any apprehensions about our sex life?
  10. Do you want to talk about any sexual dysfunction?

a couple's legs intertwined on bed

Read More: Discover 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Use Vaseline as lube.  

Have a Great Conversation on Sex: 3 Tips to Ease Into it

Talking about sex can leave you feeling vulnerable. And that often discourages couples from indulging in it. 

Here are three simple tips to ease into intimate conversations:

1. Timing is Everything

A flirty sexual conversation is bound to change any stale sexual patterns. It can act as foreplay.

When’s a good time? When both of you are relaxed and feeling those romantic vibes— maybe cuddled together in front of the fire, enjoying a good Scotch, or watching the moon rise over the horizon. 

Try the deep conversation starters when both of you feel more comfortable with each other and are ready to take your sexual relationship to a deeper level.

Avoid discussing sensitive conversation topics like sexual dysfunction, painful intercourse, and sexual satisfaction in your marriage during or just after sex. This is when we’re most vulnerable and are likely to take things the wrong way.

2. Compliments Never Hurt

Saying “you’re the best sex I’ve ever had!” or “I love what you did last night” will give your partner a huge confidence boost. It will also encourage them to indulge in deep conversation topics around sex.

It’s a huge high when you tell your partner exactly how they are pushing all your right buttons and making your toes curl during the act.

A simple compliment at the right time can allow you to dive deeper into your sex life.

3. Revisit the Intimate Conversation 

If you managed to have a deep conversation about sex or tried something new with your partner, do it again! 

Repeating a pleasurable act or intimate discussion sets the stage for your partner to reciprocate, fostering a healthy relationship. What you’re left with is a fulfilling sexual communication cycle!

couple kissing on the forehead

Read More: Suffering from vaginal dryness? Here are the 12 Best Home Remedies you can try.  

Enhance Your Sex Life With the Right Products

All talk and no action makes… you know the rest! 

While sexual communication is enjoyable, nothing beats the actual roll in the sack. 

And choosing the right lube can make the difference between okay sex or a highly pleasurable experience. 

You can select from this list of The 10 Best Organic Personal Lubricants or play it safe with the Coconu range of organic lubricants:

1. Coconu Water-Based Lube

The Coconu Water Based Personal Lubricant ($24.99) is a strong and long-lasting lube designed to last as long as you do. 

Its silky, sensual feel will moisturize sensitive areas while enhancing your most intimate moments. No harmful ingredients mean you can relax and enjoy your sexual activity in the best way possible. 

2. Coconu Oil-Based Lube

The Coconu Oil Based Personal Lubricant ($24.99) can create a stimulating and deeply satisfying sexual experience for you and your partner. It contains coconut oil, sunflower seed oil, shea butter, cocoa butter, and Vitamin E that can awaken your senses.

Because of its natural health benefits, you can also use this lube as a massage oil.

3. Coconu Hemp Infused Body Oil

The Coconu Hemp Infused Body Oil ($34.99) combines the goodness of coconut oil with hemp to help nourish your skin and relax your muscles before, during, and after sex.

This multitasker features sunflower seed oil, coconut oil, hemp extract, shea butter, cocoa butter, and Vitamin E, making it the perfect lube or massage oil.

Everything Fun Starts With a Conversation!

Sex talk can be intimidating, but it’s imperative if you want a fulfilling sex life. So, light that candle, hold that hand, look each other in the eye and let’s chat!