If the first thing you say after a passionate romp is, “Did you finish?” chances are, she didn’t.
From the elusive G-spot to a complex assortment of sex toys, getting your lover to O-town might seem mission impossible.
But don’t worry, we’ll reveal how to make a woman orgasm. With the help of our 10 surefire tips, you can level up your bedroom antics and get her to finish satisfactorily.
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10 Surefire Tips on How to Make a Woman Orgasm
For many women, reaching climax isn’t as clear-cut as it is for most men. She needs time, attention, and someone who actively listens to scream your name with pleasure.
Ready to take her over the edge?
Follow these tips to help tune into your partner's pleasure:
- Prioritize Her
- Pamper Her
- Communicate Openly About Her Needs
- Take Your Time with Foreplay
- Familiarize Yourself with Her Sweet Spots
- Focus on Her Erogenous Zones
- Use Lube
- Introduce Sex Toys
- Let Her Join the Fun
- Try Different Sex Positions
1. Prioritize Her
The male orgasm generally happens within five to seven minutes. It takes women about 13.41 minutes to reach orgasm during penetrative sex.
But here’s the kicker — most women don’t get there through vaginal penetration alone. They need that extra external clitoral touch or nipple stimulation to seal the deal.
This adds to something known as the “orgasm gap,” which highlights the proven fact that straight, cisgender men tend to have a much higher chance of reaching climax during sexual intercourse compared to heterosexual women.
So, make it all about her and focus on her pleasure. Don’t rush it for your sake.
Once she’s experienced orgasm (or multiple orgasms), you can lead into the grand finale.
2. Pamper Her
Going the extra mile to get her in the mood can set you both up for success.
Here are some things you could try to make her feel pampered:
- Dim the lights
- Burn some scented candles.
- Curate a playlist of sensual songs to enhance the mood
- Have your partner slip into something comfy or sexy
- Be conscious of your own hygiene - so no BO or bad breath!
- Start things off with an intimate massage to build sexual tension
The perfect ambiance can boost your partner's sexual arousal and ensure they relax, a vital component of an electrifying orgasm.
Read More: Shower some self-love and Make Yourself Orgasm using these 14 kickass tips.
3. Communicate Openly About Her Needs
Talk about the sexual activity with your partner before doing the deed.
Everyone's likes and dislikes differ based on personal preference. To build a strong connection, dive into her turn-ons and discover what truly excites her. And be attentive when she reveals herself.
A little heart-to-heart about what's a green light, what's a no-go, and what makes her tingle is the roadmap to O town.
4. Take Your Time with Foreplay
Most women require a blend of emotional and physical excitement. Enter: foreplay.
Foreplay refers to the playful build-up to vaginal sex. This can include mental or physical stimulation.
Not sure where to start?
Here are some tips to get both of you in the groove:
- Start with mental foreplay: Send your lover a flirty text or raunchy photo during the day to get her mind buzzing with anticipation.
Whisper something sweet: Tell her how perky her butt looks in those jeans or how badly you want her.
Embrace a loving touch: Hold her from behind, gently stroke her inner thigh, or run your hands through her hair to build up that electric tension.
- Elevate your kissing game: Kissing isn’t only reserved for your lips. Explore new places to kiss on her body that amp up her sexual arousal. Try starting at the nape of her neck and slowly move your way to oral sex.
Here’s the deal:
Don’t rush through foreplay or treat it like a chore. Instead, savor what comes before the grand finale.
5. Familiarize Yourself with Her Sweet Spots
For a healthy sex life full of potential orgasms, two sweet spots shouldn’t be ignored: The clitoris and the G-spot.
Here’s how to give them the attention they deserve:
The clitoris: This little powerhouse of nerve endings can be found near the top of the vulva, nestled beneath a bit of skin known as the “clitoral hood.” Start with your fingers or tongue at the top of the vulva, moving downward until you feel a small sensitive bump.
Use a few tender strokes (circular or back and forth) to get her aroused. Apply varying levels of pressure to find the level of sexual stimulation that works best for your partner.
Once aroused, the clitoris becomes erect. At this point, continue with the movements and maintain the pressure on the clit to get her to climax.
The G-spot: The G-spot is a bundle of nerve endings found inside the vagina, about two to three inches inside the vaginal canal.
To find her G-spot, gently slide your finger inside her with your palm facing up, then curl your finger upward like you’re telling someone to come closer. You'll recognize it by its bean-shaped bump and perhaps a rougher texture than the surrounding tissue.
To stimulate the G-spot, use the same curling motion to massage the upper part of the vagina gently. Use rhythmic strokes and experiment with varying speeds and pressures until you discover the one that most pleasures her. You can also stimulate the G-spot through vaginal intercourse.
Note: The G-spot is not a separate part of the body. It's actually part of the clitoral network inside the vagina.
6. Focus on Her Erogenous Zones
Erogenous zones are like secret buttons on our bodies that, when touched just right, can send us over the edge.
Some women can orgasm strictly from kissing, caressing, and playing with these magical spots.
Before and during penetration, try teasing or kissing her ears, nipples, or the inside of her elbows.
Most importantly, ask your partner about her erogenous or sensitive parts, and treat this part of foreplay as an adventure to discover new and exciting parts to kiss and caress.
7. Use Lube
Sexual lube is your secret weapon to help make your partner orgasm.
Adding lube to the fun does three things essential for a healthy sex life and the big O:
- Lube ensures delicate bits feel smooth, which can enhance sexual pleasure.
- Its sleek formula helps you maintain a steady rhythm, which many women need to climax.
- Lube minimizes discomfort or friction for your partner.
Use it during foreplay or penetration. Add a drop to her sensitive spots, like her clitoris, and gently stimulate her toward a clitoral orgasm.
Looking for the perfect lube to elevate your intimate moments?
Here are our top picks:
A. Coconu’s Oil Based Personal Lubricant
Coconu’s Oil Based Lubricant stimulates natural lubrication to ensure you enjoy long-lasting, deeply satisfying sexual activity.
The cherry on top?
B. Coconu’s Water-Based Personal Lubricant
Crafted from all-natural ingredients, the Coconu Water Based Lubricant is the perfect companion for female sexual orgasms!
Loaded with organic coconut water, it lessens friction, boosts circulation, and heightens sexual stimulation.
8. Introduce Sex Toys
Think of a sex toy like your trusty little helper to make foreplay and partnered sex even more exciting and enjoyable.
For example, vibrators provide excellent clitoral stimulation to deliver an earth-shattering orgasm (or multiple orgasms) that might be tricky to achieve with just fingers or oral sex.
Experiment with the vast range of sex toys — from dildos to vibrators — to unlock her full orgasmic potential and spice up your sex life.
9. Let Her Join the Fun
Did you know that 92% of women reach orgasm from masturbation?
So, don’t be afraid to let her take the reins because she knows what she’s doing.
Encourage her to focus on her clitoris while you’re in the mix, or make mutual self-pleasure part of your experience. If your partner enjoys it, offer to watch and learn as she pleasures herself with her hands or favorite sex toy.
10. Try Different Sex Positions
Sorry to break it to you, but the missionary position just won’t cut it when it comes to intense female sexual orgasms.
Sex positions that provide maximum stimulation for her clitoris and G-spot are game changers. Let’s dive in:
- Sitting position: This position requires her to sit on your lap, which can provide deep penetration and even better clitoral stimulation.
- Woman on top: Having her on top gives her ultimate control to stimulate her clitoris during penetration. Thanks to the angle of penetration, it also offers excellent G-spot stimulation. This can lead to an intense vaginal orgasm or G-spot orgasm.
Spooning: For this position, you both lay on your sides, facing the same way, with you behind your partner. Adjust the angles of your body to ensure you can get a good motion going. From there, you can reach around and play with her clitoris and breasts.
Read More: To grow closer with your partner, check out these 31 Intimate Pillow Talk Questions for Couples.
3 FAQs About the Female Orgasm
Let’s get into some other burning questions regarding the elusive female orgasm:
1. Can All Women Experience an Orgasm?
Not all women can experience an orgasm.
This is generally referred to as anorgasmia, which means you experience one of the following:
- No orgasm
- Delayed orgasm
- Less-intense orgasms
Anorgasmia can be acquired, meaning you recently experienced problems with having orgasms. Or, it can be lifelong, meaning you’ve never had an orgasm.
2. Are There Multiple Kinds of Female Orgasms?
Women can achieve orgasms in a variety of different ways.
Here are some of the most common types of female orgasms:
- Clitoral: This orgasm occurs from direct clitoral stimulation. The clitoral orgasm offers a sharp, intense, short-lived sensation.
- Vaginal: A vaginal orgasm involves the G-spot and requires vaginal penetration. It typically lasts longer and offers a whole-body orgasm.
Combination: A combo or blended orgasm involves clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time.
Erogenous: This kind of orgasm is achieved by touching or kissing sensitive areas of the body, like the neck, nipples, ears, and knees.
- Anal: An anal orgasm comes from anal stimulation from a finger, toy, mouth, or penis (accompanied by lots of lube).
Fun fact: National Orgasm Day is on the 31st of July.
3. What Are the Stages of an Orgasm?
Both the female and male orgasm go through different stages of orgasm:
Excitement: This is when things start heating up. Sexual tensions build through sexual activities like foreplay.
Plateau: As you continue, the pleasurable sensations become more intense, and sexual tension keeps rising.
Orgasm: This is the big moment. All that built-up sexual tension bursts into an explosion of intense sexual pleasure. Plus, your body releases hormones, like endorphins (the happy hormone), to add to the excitement.
- Resolution: After the fireworks, you experience a serene "afterglow," and sexual feelings gradually subside.
Ready, Set, Orgasm!
Now that you have the necessary tips, it’s time to put them to work.
Communication reigns supreme when it comes to getting your partner to experience the big O. But don’t forget to take your time, focus on her, and lube up!
Not sure which lube to choose?
With the Coconu Combo Pack, you get the best of both worlds. With our water-based and oil-based lubes you decide which lube suits your orgasm adventures.