Masturbation is fun! Your bestie raves about this ultimate pleasure play.
But you have no idea where to even start?
Maybe you were shamed as a teenager when you started exploring your sexuality, and now don’t feel comfortable seeking solo satisfaction.
Maybe you have awesome partnered sex and don’t need this? (You’re mistaken!)
Whatever the reason, we have your back.
Trust us when we say mastering how to make yourself orgasm is the beginning of a whole new world of pleasure.
Ready to go on your O town adventure? Read on for 14 of our tried-and-tested tips that really work. Every time!
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14 No-nonsense Tips to Make Yourself Orgasm
Use these tips to help you prepare for an exploratory session of solo sex:
- Find Pleasure In Solo Sex
- Get Out of Your Head
- Get in the Mood
- Explore Your Body
- Take Your Time
- Experiment Continuously
- Make it a Full-Body Experience
- Get Familiar With Your Clitoris
- Explore Different Techniques
- Locate Your G-Spot
- Repeat What Feels Good
- Introduce Sex Toys to the Fun
- Keep Lube Nearby
- Don’t Focus on Orgasm
1. Find Pleasure In Solo Sex
Does the thought of masturbating make you blush?
Or, maybe it feels like just another chore that you ‘must’ do as a modern, liberated woman?
Masturbation is a natural form of self-love, and you deserve it!
You don’t ‘have’ to do it, but don’t deprive yourself of this amazing sensation just because you don’t think you have the time.
Also, if the idea of touching yourself makes you blush, ask yourself:
- Why do I feel embarrassed about masturbation?
- What are my personal beliefs when it comes to self-pleasure?
- Are these beliefs keeping me from enjoying a healthy aspect of my sexuality?
Read More: What are Coregasms and can you even have one?
2. Get Out of Your Head
To enjoy and achieve orgasm through masturbation, you need to get out of your head and be fully present in your body. The less distracted you are during self-pleasure, the better.
When your to-do lists pop into your head, tune into your body’s sensations. We have a lot on our minds, but distractions negatively affect sexual arousal.
So whenever you start to feel your mind wandering, bring it back to the sensual feelings as your hands wander all over your body.
This brings us to our next tip…
3. Get in the Mood
To achieve a better orgasm, you need to be in the right headspace.
Here’s how to get into a sexy and comfortable head space to enjoy your solo sexcapade:
- Ensure you have a private place (your bedroom?) and at least an hour of undisturbed solitude.
- Switch off your phone or turn it on silent mode (We don’t want robocalls to kill your mojo).
Treat yourself to a sensual self-care routine. Take a warm bath, use your favorite body oil, whatever makes you feel pampered.
- Get into sexy lingerie or comfortable PJs - whatever rocks your boat.
- Turn on some sexy or soothing music. You can also go down the scented candle route, but we know that’s just extra work (so chuck it!).
- Shift your focus to pleasure. Close your eyes and let your mind wander to your wildest fantasies and desires.
Once you are super relaxed, you can build arousal by:
- Watching porn made for women by women or looking at images that turn you on
- Listening to an erotic audiobook, podcast, or playlist
- Reading erotica - there are many sites that have erotic stories specifically for women
Read More: Find out the underlying causes behind your High Sex Drive (and why it’s not a problem!).
4. Explore Your Body
Touch yourself intimately and note what feels good and what doesn’t. The key is to be attentive to your body's responses and go at your own pace.
Not sure where to start?
Try these tips:
- Gently touch and caress your breasts. You can use your fingertips to trace circles around your areolas and nipples.
- Explore your clitoral area with light touches. Use your fingers to rub in circular motions around the clitoral hood gently.
- Run your fingers along your inner thighs, moving closer to your genital area. This can be a tantalizing way to heighten anticipation and arousal.
When you feel at ease with your body and understand your pleasure spots, sexual intimacy, and orgasms become much easier to enjoy.
5. Take Your Time
Patience is a core ingredient to making yourself orgasm, especially if you’re figuring things out.
So ensure you can take time, fully relax, and enjoy the experience.
During your solo session, focus on exploring the sensations and pleasures without the pressure to climax.
6. Experiment Continuously
Masturbation is a profoundly personal journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it.
But, to figure out what tickles your fancy, you must experiment.
- Experiment with different types of touches, from feather light strokes to firm squeezes, and focus on how your body responds to each.
- Introduce sensory elements such as ice, blindfolds, or sensual oils to enhance sensations.
- Touch yourself in front of a mirror and focus on where you’re touching yourself.
- Fantasize and engage in mental role-play scenarios to explore different desires.
Remember, some things may not work for you, and that’s okay. Stay curious about masturbation and keep practicing.
7. Make it a Full-Body Experience
Sexual activity isn’t all about the clitoris and vulva. Before you dive straight in, explore other erogenous zones on your body, like your neck, inner thighs, nipples, etc.
An erogenous zone is extremely sensitive. So, touching and playing with these areas can help you to relax, increase arousal, and boost sexual pleasure.
8. Get Familiar With Your Clitoris
For most women, clitoral stimulation is a sure way to experience orgasm. This requires direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris using your hand or a sex toy.
- First, make sure your clitoris is wet. You can do this by watching porn, reading an erotic story, or using lube.
- Begin to rub your clitoris in an up-and-down or side-by-side motion gently.
- When it feels good, start rubbing faster and harder, repeating that motion. As the pleasure builds, add more pressure to send yourself over the edge.
A clitoral orgasm is generally short-lasting but provides sharp, intense sensations.
9. Explore Different Techniques
To master masturbation, experiment with different positions, touches, and pressures.
Not sure where to start?
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Experiment with tapping or flicking motions.
- Playfully tap and tease your vaginal entrance.
- Try curling your fingers towards your body and using the flat of your knuckles to stimulate your clitoris.
- Use different positions, like laying on your stomach with your hand or vibrator beneath your clitoris, and gently grind into it.
10. Locate Your G-Spot
There’s a special spot in the vaginal wall known as the G-spot. When stimulated, it can lead to intense full-body orgasms and even ejaculation.
- Use your fingers or a sex toy, like a dildo.
- To stimulate the G-spot, insert your fingers and make a “come here” gesture toward your belly button. The G-spot will have a rougher texture, which can feel similar to the roof of your mouth, so using your fingers can help you locate it.
- Experiment with different motions and pressures, stick to what feels best, and let the sexual pleasure build.
If you get yourself there, a G-spot orgasm offers an incredibly deep, body-tingling climax.
11. Repeat What Feels Good
To achieve stronger orgasms, repetition is required. It’s all about finding and stimulating that perfect spot until you climax.
This is why getting to know your body and pleasure points is so important. It allows you to pay close attention to what feels good, repeating that motion until you feel your toes curling and experiencing orgasm.
12. Introduce Sex Toys to the Fun
Sex toys are a great way to boost your solo sex life! Dildos and vibrators come in many different forms, from pebbles and bullets to rabbits — each offers a different way to achieve an orgasm (or even multiple orgasms).
Before your solo pleasure adventure, familiarize yourself with your sex toy’s features. This way, you avoid starting and stopping to adjust speed or try new vibration settings.
Here’s how to masturbate using a sex toy:
- Start by teasing the areas of your body that respond best to stimulation. It could be your clitoris, nipples, the sides of your labia or vulva, or any other spot that excites you.
- Once you’ve found a spot you like the most, keep doing what feels fantastic and surrender yourself to an electric orgasm.
For penetrative sex toys, like dildos, it’s essential to be lubricated.
This brings us too…
13. Keep Lube Nearby
Even if you don’t usually have issues getting or staying wet, lube can heighten sexual activity and lead to stronger orgasms. It can work wonders to help you get in the mood.
Using lube also means less friction during masturbation, providing more comfort and a better chance of reaching orgasm (Yay!).
Here are our top picks:
A. Coconu’s Oil Based Personal Lubricant
This oil-based lube contains no alcohol, petroleum, parabens, or other harmful additives, making it ideal for safe solo sessions and improved sexual health.
Oil-based lubes don’t play well with silicone sex toys because they can degrade the silicone.
B. Coconu’s Water-Based Personal Lubricant
It also doubles as a vaginal moisturizer to help rehydrate sensitive areas.
The best part?
This lube is sex toy-friendly, even for silicone sex toys.
14. Don’t Focus on Orgasm
Masturbation isn’t all about reaching orgasm.
It’s about finding what touches, strokes, and pressures work for your body. When you fixate on reaching orgasm rather than savoring the moment, it can take the fun out of masturbation.
So, forget about climaxing and enjoy the feel of your hands or sex toy on your skin.
If your self-pleasure session doesn’t end in orgasm or ejaculation, don’t worry. Masturbation takes time to figure out what your body needs to finish.
The Advantages of Learning How to Orgasm for Partnered Sex
Once you can pleasure yourself, achieving orgasm during partnered sex can be even more enjoyable.
Here’s how mastering self-pleasure can benefit partnered sex:
- Knowing your body will make you more confident about your sexuality and pleasure during partnered sex.
- You'll be able to show your partner how to help you climax or ask for what gets you over the edge (Every time!).
- You can take responsibility for your orgasm even when making love with a partner. Cause, girl, you own your pleasure!
Frequently Asked Questions About Orgasms
Now that you know how to achieve the big O, you may still have questions about orgasms.
1. What Are the Different Types of Orgasms?
The female orgasm can be achieved in a variety of different ways. Here are six of the most common orgasms:
- Vaginal: A vaginal orgasm involves two elusive spots, the A and G-spot. This orgasm requires vaginal intercourse and is a long-lasting, whole-body climax.
- Clitoral: The most common female orgasm is achieved by stimulating the clitoral glans. It offers sharp, intense bursts of pleasure.
- Combination: A blended orgasm occurs when the vagina and clitoris are stimulated. A blended orgasm can provide an explosive, full-body orgasm.
- Erogenous: An erogenous orgasm happens when you stimulate highly sensitive body parts. This includes touching and kissing the ears, the neck, and nipple stimulation.
- Anal: Primarily involves muscle contractions in the anal canal and sphincter.
- Multiple: Multiple orgasms happen when you experience one orgasm after another from continued or renewed stimulation.
2. Can All Women Have an Orgasm?
No, not all women can achieve orgasm.
A condition called anorgasmia or pre-orgasmic means people experience infrequent, delayed, or no orgasms at all.
Anorgasmia can fall into one of four categories:
- Lifelong: You've never had an orgasm.
- Acquired: If you are new to having problems with achieving orgasms.
- Situational: You struggle to reach orgasm only in certain situations, with certain partners, or with certain kinds of sexual stimulation.
- Generalized: If you have problems with orgasm in any situation.
Some treatments for anorgasmia include seeing a sex therapist, learning masturbation techniques, and treating underlying health issues.
Note: Anorgasmia is a type of sexual dysfunction that can affect all genders.
Ready to Become a Master of Masturbation?
A solo sexual experience requires time, playfulness, and a lot of repetition. Focus on what feels good and repeat that until you experience the big O.
Whether you’re using your hand or a sex toy, grab some lube for extra pleasure.
Looking for the perfect sidekick for your solo sessions?
Grab the Coconu Combo Pack! It comes stocked with both our oil and water-based lubes, so you’re always ready to go.